


Yesterday Upon The Stair

by Cerberusia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Childhood, Gen, Start Of Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 02:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11026938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cerberusia/pseuds/Cerberusia
Summary: Ben is a very troubling child.





	Yesterday Upon The Stair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kim_onka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kim_onka/gifts).



**Leia - 0**

Leia gives birth almost a year to the day after Endor. He comes out looking almost exactly like his father - but then all human infants do, don't they? He howls from the moment he's born to the second he finally falls asleep. Then he wakes up and starts again. Han is confused and exasperated; Leia is frightened he'll damage his vocal cords. There's nothing they can do to soothe him beyond putting him to the breast, to which he latches on powerfully. Leia's nipples are tender and sore after only the third feed. But the minute he finishes feeding, he goes right back to wailing.

On the second day, Luke arrives, full of apologies for being caught off-planet when his nephew demanded to be let out of the womb a week before schedule. Leia makes vague, sleep-deprived reassurances and waves him in the direction of the door, which opens into the nursery where Ben is complaining fitfully. She thinks he might actually cry _less_ when she's not holding him, and she just wants the heart-rending noises to _stop_.

Luke opens the door, the complaining rises to a wail - and then, silence.

It's a magical moment when he comes back into the bedroom with Ben cradled delicately in his arms. She can see Ben's weak newborn eyes trying to focus on his face over and over. He's silent and pliable and trusting in his uncle's hands.

After that, the crying stops, as if a switch has been turned off. Leia feels grateful, but also like she's already failed a test.

 

**Han - 2**

It's nearly three months that Ben has been obsessed with this one stuffed tauntaun Han got him, and Han is feeling quite optimistic about fatherhood. Ben doesn't talk much, but he's growing fast. He clearly got his nose from Han's side of the family - well, he'll grow into it.

Ben holds the tantaun in the crook of one elbow as he lies on his stomach in the living room, drawing. Looking at the pad upside down, Han can see rough representations of Ben, Leia, a large orange scribble that must be Chewie, and himself. Ben is painstakingly drawing in his greying hair. Thanks, kid.

At last, all three of them are done. Han comes round and sits on the floor next to his son to study the masterpiece. It's recognisably them, which isn't bad for a two year-old. After a moment of thought, Ben picks up the pencil again and begins another figure next to Leia. He does the hair before starting on the body, which enables Han to say,

"Uncle Luke, huh?"

Ben nods and keeps drawing. The figure takes shape in his careful crayon strokes. Curiously, he draws only half of Luke's left arm. Han is about to ask why, but then he picks up the silver crayon again and sketches in the forearm and hand.

Luke's artificial hand has been covered in synthskin since before Ben was born. Han squints at the picture for a long minute.

But Ben is already onto a new figure, off to the side of the page. It's bigger than him and Leia, but not as big as Chewie. One of Chewie's kids, Han almost asks? But it's black, a tall thin black scribble. It doesn't have a face.

"Hey, who's this?" he asks, pointing to it.

"Grandpa," says Ben placidly, and keeps on drawing.

 

**Luke - 4**

“The thing is, Ben, you're not supposed to do that.”

“Why not?” Across the kitchen table, Ben stares at him with fathomless eyes.

"Because it's not right," Luke explains. "Other people's thoughts are private, and just because we _can_ look into their minds, doesn't make it OK."

"I don't _mean_ to," says Ben mutinously. "They shouldn't think so loud."

Luke struggles to explain it in a way a four year-old can comprehend. "I know it's difficult for you not to hear them, but it's very important that you learn how to tune them out. They would be very upset if they knew that you could hear their private thoughts."

Ben isn't quick to make friends with other children, but he understands the concept of not upsetting others with thoughtlessness. He purses his mouth and says, "OK."

"I'll help, Ben," Luke reassures him. "I'm here for a couple of weeks, and I can teach you ways to shut your mind. Would you like that?"

At the promise of time with his uncle, Ben's whole face brightens. It's cute, not to mention gratifying - but Luke worries that he even has to offer. Ben has inherited his unusually strong mind-reading powers from his grandfather, manifesting them well before the onset of any of the more standard signs of Force sensitivity. What else has been passed down?

 

**Leia - 6**

At six, Ben's control of his powers - now including both telekinesis and biokinesis - has improved dramatically. Leia, Han and Luke can all breathe a sigh of relief. What hasn't improved are his relationships with his peers.

"Sweetheart, we just worry that you don't have people round to play." They're at the kitchen table again. Leia has just got back from the Senate, and she's unwinding her elaborate stole as she speaks.

Ben shrugs. "I don't think they like me very much."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not really." He sounds completely truthful. Leia wished that were a comfort.

 _How awful,_ part of her thinks, _to wish your child were upset about having no friends._ But it's surely worse that he _doesn't_ care - what kind of child, what kind of human being is she raising?

"You don't want friends?" she asks. She doesn't know which answer she's hoping for.

"I've already got one." This is news to Leia.

"Who? Is it Poe?" She likes Poe Dameron, and she particularly likes that despite being very popular with the local kids, he has a lot of time for Ben. He seems to find Ben's black moods mildly entertaining, which is more than she does.

"No. I like Poe," he clarifies when he sees her eyebrows go up, "but he's busy a lot. It's another friend."

"Who?" she says again. But Ben shakes his head.

"You don't know him," he says. Leia frowns. They're so alert to the possibility of kidnapping, there's no way he can have met someone she doesn't know.

"Are you _sure_ , sweetheart?" she presses.

"I _said_ , you don't know him." His brown eyes look black, like great holes in his white face. "But he says he knows you."

**Author's Note:**

> Yesterday upon the stair  
> I met a man who wasn’t there  
> He wasn’t there again today  
> I wish, I wish he’d go away


End file.
